Top Ten    
Poker Tips...by PAPI!!!!
10. - Never fold an Ace...NEVER!!
9. - Always touch the cards/chips in the middle of the table even when not in the hand
8. - Try to muck other players cards whenever possible
7. - Confuse your opponents by asking what the blinds are over and over again
6. - Collect money from everyone before saying hello
5. - Make sure you are wearing your glasses
4. - Tell your family to shut up
3. - Never take your sons poker advice
2. - While playing watch & cheer for Yankee games...from last year
1. - You Cant Win For Losing
Pick Up Lines...by Creeper Pete
10. - Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you
9. - Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away
8. - My penis is called Batman. Wanna see The Dark Knight Rise?
7. - Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns
6. - Hey, I Just Met You And This Is Crazy, But Heres My Number, Call Me Maybe
5. - Are you a beaver? 'Cause Dam!
4. - Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
3. - Wanna take a ride on my boat?
2. - Would you like one of my famous roofiecoladas?
1. - You're 18, right?
Reasons I'm Not At Poker...by Frog Fingers
10. - Going To A Bachelor Party
9. - It's My Time Of The Month
8. - Busy Masturbating All Night
7. - Not Enough People Playing
6. - Going To The Devils Game
5. - Got Sand In My Vagina
4. - Have A Football Draft
3. - I Live Too Far Away
2. - Don't Want To Sit Next To Rob
1. - My Wife Said No
Reasons I Changed My Name To Joey Candle...by Big Mo
10. - Nobody Would Ever Accuse A Guy Named "Joey Candle" Of Passing Bad Checks
9. - Sounds Less Ethnic Than Jose Vela
8. - The Name Joey Matchstick Was Already Taken
7. - Less Chance Of A "Random" Screening At The Airport
6. - Throw Off The Parole Board
5. - Stalker Ex-Girlfriends Cannot Find Me
4. - To Match The Name On The Stolen Credit Cards
3. - Hiding From My Bookies
2. - Trying To Get Two Entries In The PPT TOC
1. - INS / Homeland Security...Don't Ask
Why To Move A Poker Game...by Benedict & Pistol Pete
10. - Pete Can't Make The Game
9. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
8. - Pete Can't Make The Game
7. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
6. - Pete Can't Make The Game
5. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
4. - Pete Can't Make The Game
3. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
2. - Pete Can't Make The Game
1. - Anthony & Pete Can't Make The Game
Hot Pick-Up Spots...by The Cougar
10. - Taylor Swift Impersonation Contests
9. - Chuck E Cheese
8. - Sesame Place
7. - High School Lunchyard
6. - Hunka Bunka Teen Night
5. - Summer Camp
4. - McDonalds Play Palace
3. - Movie Theater (Just when a PG-13 lets out)
2. - iPlay America
1. - Freshmen Orientation
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