Top Ten    






Poker Tips...by PAPI!!!!

  • 10. - Never fold an Ace...NEVER!!
  • 9. - Always touch the cards/chips in the middle of the table even when not in the hand
  • 8. - Try to muck other players cards whenever possible
  • 7. - Confuse your opponents by asking what the blinds are over and over again
  • 6. - Collect money from everyone before saying hello
  • 5. - Make sure you are wearing your glasses
  • 4. - Tell your family to shut up
  • 3. - Never take your sons poker advice
  • 2. - While playing watch & cheer for Yankee games...from last year
  • 1. - You Cant Win For Losing













    Pick Up Lines...by Creeper Pete



  • 10. - Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you
  • 9. - Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away
  • 8. - My penis is called Batman. Wanna see The Dark Knight Rise?
  • 7. - Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns
  • 6. - Hey, I Just Met You And This Is Crazy, But Heres My Number, Call Me Maybe
  • 5. - Are you a beaver? 'Cause Dam!
  • 4. - Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  • 3. - Wanna take a ride on my boat?
  • 2. - Would you like one of my famous roofiecoladas?
  • 1. - You're 18, right?













    Reasons I'm Not At Poker...by Frog Fingers

  • 10. - Going To A Bachelor Party
  • 9. - It's My Time Of The Month
  • 8. - Busy Masturbating All Night
  • 7. - Not Enough People Playing
  • 6. - Going To The Devils Game
  • 5. - Got Sand In My Vagina
  • 4. - Have A Football Draft
  • 3. - I Live Too Far Away
  • 2. - Don't Want To Sit Next To Rob
  • 1. - My Wife Said No













    Reasons I Changed My Name To Joey Candle...by Big Mo

  • 10. - Nobody Would Ever Accuse A Guy Named "Joey Candle" Of Passing Bad Checks
  • 9. - Sounds Less Ethnic Than Jose Vela
  • 8. - The Name Joey Matchstick Was Already Taken
  • 7. - Less Chance Of A "Random" Screening At The Airport
  • 6. - Throw Off The Parole Board
  • 5. - Stalker Ex-Girlfriends Cannot Find Me
  • 4. - To Match The Name On The Stolen Credit Cards
  • 3. - Hiding From My Bookies
  • 2. - Trying To Get Two Entries In The PPT TOC
  • 1. - INS / Homeland Security...Don't Ask













    Why To Move A Poker Game...by Benedict & Pistol Pete

  • 10. - Pete Can't Make The Game
  • 9. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
  • 8. - Pete Can't Make The Game
  • 7. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
  • 6. - Pete Can't Make The Game
  • 5. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
  • 4. - Pete Can't Make The Game
  • 3. - Anthony Can't Make The Game
  • 2. - Pete Can't Make The Game
  • 1. - Anthony & Pete Can't Make The Game













    Hot Pick-Up Spots...by The Cougar

  • 10. - Taylor Swift Impersonation Contests
  • 9. - Chuck E Cheese
  • 8. - Sesame Place
  • 7. - High School Lunchyard
  • 6. - Hunka Bunka Teen Night
  • 5. - Summer Camp
  • 4. - McDonalds Play Palace
  • 3. - Movie Theater (Just when a PG-13 lets out)
  • 2. - iPlay America
  • 1. - Freshmen Orientation